Our Last Day

Who am I? Who do I want to be? How do I get there?

I vividly remember sitting in a chair with a bunch of green around me listening to Armen Keteyian ask us those three questions.

At that very moment, with so many around me, I felt completely alone. I felt naked, even with a suit and robe on. My mind was running in a perpetual state of anxiety.

I've lived in different countries, different cities, and done a million things most people will never get to experience, but I was still not sure who I was. I knew I was a rower and that I was a good student, but I didn't know for sure what represented me. Then the other day, it was my birthday, and I was submerged in love and happiness by my friends and family. That's when I saw as I took a step back that I have touched so many people in a positive way without trying. In no way is this an egocentric thought, but rather a fulfilling one. Knowing that I have been someone they could count on, work with, laugh with, is who I believe I am today.

But back to that gigantic church full of educated people. For that past year, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, the only thing that kept me motivated was rowing and training. That's when I took an insane risk. I decided to not take the GRE, move to France away from my friends and girlfriend, and start a Master degree. I didn't even know if I was accepted until July 8th, which would have really been a slap in the face if I wasn't, knowing I had no back up plan. Through the last two years, I have been clearing out a path that makes me happy. Finally, two years later, I am a lot closer to knowing who I want to be. Professionally at least! But all that can change quickly, which is why I work on multiple projects in different areas to stay fulfilled and keep motivated. The rest is just a long work in process.

So how I do I get there? I asked myself as I get ready to stand up from my seat and get in line for my diploma. Frankly, I have no idea, but I do believe that no matter what your choices are, they aren't set in stone, which gives you the liberty to do whatever you want. I told myself to work hard and seek knowledge from the best who were around me so that I could become better than they'll ever be. If I don't get there one day, I'll just simply go back to the first two question and ask myself "who am I and what I do I want to be?"

Today was the last time I sat down with my classmates, drinking crappy coffee, whining about class and papers, and laughing as the two hour classes stretched on. Thank you for helping me when I needed it and forging a family of friends.

Much love.